Saturday, October 15, 2005

October 15 - Flying

Saturday morning with grande bold starbucks coffee and a pumpkin scone (being seasonal). Some habits die hard! A lovely Toronto autumn weekend, sunny and crisp.

Is a year since I was diagnosed with hepC and almost three months since completing combo therapy. Now that treatment is finished, there’s not as much relevant material to post in the blog – life is flying and my world has returned to the hectic pace of work deadlines, bringing up teenager, getting together with friends, keeping the house together, and, of course, development of mind and body. There are obviously things kept, hopefully the positive, growth-oriented concepts that must accompany such an experience. There are also things lost, or in the process of being lost, that I am happy to see go. I am no longer dependent upon water for normal existence (or whatever optimal treatment existence might be characterized as), and while I have kept up with a fair amount of “clear fluid intake”, no doubt a healthy thing, multiple litres of water each day is no longer required. Appetite has curbed and I am no longer hungry all of the time, as compared to feeling continuously starving while on treatment. Weight has pretty much maintained throughout the process and am about 50 kg now, as compared to 51 at treatment onset, so the hunger thing during treatment was likely a good physiologic response to try and keep the weight on. Hair still isn’t exactly thick and luxurious, but what’s there seems to be growing and is in much better shape, plus no more is falling out. I am optimistic that what fell out will start growing back in soon.

One of the big things that I’m pleased to lose is the “sick person syndrome”, that I believe is a normal response to being diagnosed with an illness, and especially to undergoing treatment. Despite trying desperately to lead as normal a life as possible on treatment, it wears you down and with that comes associated feelings of helplessness, dependence on others, isolation…. a quasi victim mentality. Although I have learned to accept assistance and love from others much more willingly as a result (one of the big positives), any victim status is happily left behind. I am reveling in my autonomy! This is not, for me anyway, a completely smooth transition and there are adjustments to be made during the shift from one mindset to another, as well as to physical reactions to the medications vacating the building. It is becoming much easier as time goes on.

We closed up the cottage over the Canadian Thanksgiving and the autumn colours were possibly the best ever seen. Looking out across the lake was brilliant, with oranges, reds and yellows lighting up the forest before the long, cold winter. It was cold up there at night, below zero, but the days were warm enough. My sister Sal and I cooked up the mega-turkey dinner, which was delicious. We kept the fire going 24 hours in the big fireplace and the wood stove in the kitchen was kept stoked throughout the weekend. It was wonderful to spend time with my father, who’s now returned to the States.

Finally figured out how to do the flickr zeitgeist thing, so there is a collage of photos from summer cottage posted on the sidebar. If you click on one, it should bring you into the photostream. Am going to try to load some of the cottage fall colours – downtown Toronto shots to come. Still having fun with the digital (another plus from treatment), and now seriously desire a better camera. Christmas is coming….

Have been keeping up with the blogs, plus some new ones, about once weekly, as well as with Ron’s forum ( and the slohepc forum ( Am so happy to see some familiar people coming to the end of treatment. All my hopes and prayers are with them for svr, health and happiness.