Saturday, December 31, 2005

December 31 - Happy New Year!

Starbucks coffee and a lemon-cranberry scone beside me. It is a happy new year! Happy because it’s over and an end to a year that was largely consumed with chemotherapy for a viral disease is good. Also happy though because of the insight and perspective gained over the year. Really do believe I am a better person for what this year has caused me to look at - morbidity, mortality, priorities – all in a subjective sense – important things to consider. Without what this year has given me, I might not have directed much subjective consideration to these things at all. It is one thing to experience sickness and death objectively in others. It is quite different to look at them in terms of oneself. I will hopefully be better professionally because of this, now possessing empathy as well as sympathy. Am also hopefully improved in my personal life, with renewed realization of how exquisitely important the people in my own world are. As well, I’m now aware of how we who face similar challenges can form common bonds. There are people with whom this past year has been shared, in terms of hepc and its treatment, who have affected my outlook, challenged my beliefs, provided me with support and made me realize that I am not alone. I am so very grateful for their company.

Things busy as usual. The months between end of summer and end of year historically the busiest in my field, so we are overwhelmed at work, but continue to give each case the attention it deserves. There is an annual parade through Kensington Market to mark the solstice, with fire-breathers, costumes, lanterns and music, celebrating the return of the light after the darkest night. My kids are too “grown up” to want to go with me anymore, but I went on the evening of the 21st, with my candle, and enjoyed it! We celebrate Christmas and had a wonderful few days with family, friends, gifts and much, much turkey, with all the trimmings. Received several shiatsu massage gift certificates among the presents (people do know what I like), so am relishing a blissful next few months. Also went to a different yoga class during the break between Christmas and New Year, as my regular studio was closed, and it was quite good. Ron and I are having a quiet New Year’s eve – he’s been recently diagnosed with an ulcer and I’m fighting a cold, so we’re just going to keep things relatively low key. Might have a few friends dropping by. Will toast 2006 with my club soda and orange juice!

Music continues to spin in the discman in my walks to and from work and around the town. Still on a bit of an electronic/ambient run, favouring Thievery Corporation, both Richest Man in Babylon and Cosmic Game, plus Zero 7, Imogen Heap, and Jon Hopkins (really hard to get in Canada!), as well as some mostly Canadian alternative including Broken Social Scene, and Stars. Around the town has lately been a much less snowy and much more traditional Toronto winter, sort of hovering around zero degrees, grey, wet and slushy. We had a lovely full day of sleet, a combination of rain, snow and ice, on Christmas day. Today, however, the snow is falling in big, white flakes, with about 6 cm already accumulated. Am starting to feel the need to find a warm Caribbean beach….

January 10th will be the six months post-treatment pcr testing. Obviously, will just wait and see and am surprisingly unstressed about it. What will be. There is nothing now that can be done to influence the result.

Pictures this month of Chinatown (conveniently located right next door to Kensington Market and, therefore, also on my way to work). Is busy, fun, crowded and if you want to purchase it, it can be found there. Enough said. Corner of Dundas and Spadina always reminds me of a scene out of Bladerunner.

My resolutions are to find the positives, to learn, explore and to evolve. I hope that 2006 brings happiness and health to all. Happy New Year!