April 2 - Positivity
Saturday morning and shot #9 last night not too bad. Managed to fall asleep by about 9 p.m. and, although I woke up a few times with the fluish stuff, still got back to sleep. Took tylenol ES this morning for the headache and now am, you guessed it, having my starbucks coffee and a maple oat nut scone! Saw nurse Sharon yesterday - blood work good, ALT 28, no anemia, neutrophils 1.5, low, but not so low they need treatment. Is all good. Mentioned the blog to Sharon and how I'm finding it therapeutic. She expressed some concern about the negativity online about hcv and treatment, but I said to her that I think this blog is positive and that I've really found reading the blogs I link to very positive for me. Her comments got me thinking throughout the day, however, and I've come up with:
10 Positive Things Associated with My HCV Diagnosis and Treatment:
1. EMPOWERMENT - Being diagnosed with hcv was overwhelming. I am learning everything I can about the disease. I am treating this thing with the only treatment option out there and am determined to fight this. Knowledge and determination are powerful and this experience is forcing me to empower myself.
2. RETROSPECTION AND RE-EXAMINATION - This experience is causing me to look at the past and to how I've come to this place in my life. I am challenging the lifestyle choices and belief systems I'd routinely adopted and/or accepted. Looking at relationships. Examining the things that frighten me and why.
3. RECOGNITION THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE DYNAMIC - My relationships are undergoing change, and that is normal and healthy. Neither people, nor relationships, are static, particularly in the face of traumatic events. This experience may foster some of the strongest associations I will ever have.
4. APPRECIATION OF THE WORLD AROUND ME - The world has become a beautiful place - a place of wonder! While I know that this is a normal reaction to a diagnosis of chronic disease and to chosing to undergo a chemotherapeutic regime, I am in awe of how incredible the world is.
5. LETTING GO - I don't need to control everything (many who know me will find this hard to believe!). The world will function okay without my giving it directions. More importantly, I will function and don't need to be insecure, even if I'm not in charge. This is a BIG step for me.
6. HEALTHY LIFESTYLE CHOICES - Whoa - I do yoga and walk everyday, I eat healthy meals (and never skip meals anymore), have healthy snacks, don't smoke, don't drink, consume copious amounts of water. Jeez, I may be healthier on treatment for hcv than I've ever been in my life!
7. SPIRITUALITY - Have always been pretty cynical about spirituality and religion. Am developing a healthy respect for all forms of spirituality, even if I'm not sure where my beliefs exactly fit in. There is much to be said for the power of faith. Find myself reading material on Christianity, Buddhism, Paganism... perhaps I will at least learn about some of the ways that spirituality has been achieved.
8. WE ARE A GLOBAL COMMUNITY - There IS a global community out there and I am part of it. Millions of people have hcv worldwide, many of whom are going through the same treatment process. To be able to share this experience on a global level is amazing!
9. I AM LOVED - I have always known, of course, that I am loved by my family and friends. However, the incredible outpouring of love, concern and support they have provided has affected me so hugely. I never envisioned myself in a position to accept all of this. I am so very grateful.
10. EVOLUTION - This is the most positive effect and a culminant one. I am learning, growing, changing, evolving as a person. This is in direct relation to my diagnosis and treatment of hcv.
Sue
10 Positive Things Associated with My HCV Diagnosis and Treatment:
1. EMPOWERMENT - Being diagnosed with hcv was overwhelming. I am learning everything I can about the disease. I am treating this thing with the only treatment option out there and am determined to fight this. Knowledge and determination are powerful and this experience is forcing me to empower myself.
2. RETROSPECTION AND RE-EXAMINATION - This experience is causing me to look at the past and to how I've come to this place in my life. I am challenging the lifestyle choices and belief systems I'd routinely adopted and/or accepted. Looking at relationships. Examining the things that frighten me and why.
3. RECOGNITION THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE DYNAMIC - My relationships are undergoing change, and that is normal and healthy. Neither people, nor relationships, are static, particularly in the face of traumatic events. This experience may foster some of the strongest associations I will ever have.
4. APPRECIATION OF THE WORLD AROUND ME - The world has become a beautiful place - a place of wonder! While I know that this is a normal reaction to a diagnosis of chronic disease and to chosing to undergo a chemotherapeutic regime, I am in awe of how incredible the world is.
5. LETTING GO - I don't need to control everything (many who know me will find this hard to believe!). The world will function okay without my giving it directions. More importantly, I will function and don't need to be insecure, even if I'm not in charge. This is a BIG step for me.
6. HEALTHY LIFESTYLE CHOICES - Whoa - I do yoga and walk everyday, I eat healthy meals (and never skip meals anymore), have healthy snacks, don't smoke, don't drink, consume copious amounts of water. Jeez, I may be healthier on treatment for hcv than I've ever been in my life!
7. SPIRITUALITY - Have always been pretty cynical about spirituality and religion. Am developing a healthy respect for all forms of spirituality, even if I'm not sure where my beliefs exactly fit in. There is much to be said for the power of faith. Find myself reading material on Christianity, Buddhism, Paganism... perhaps I will at least learn about some of the ways that spirituality has been achieved.
8. WE ARE A GLOBAL COMMUNITY - There IS a global community out there and I am part of it. Millions of people have hcv worldwide, many of whom are going through the same treatment process. To be able to share this experience on a global level is amazing!
9. I AM LOVED - I have always known, of course, that I am loved by my family and friends. However, the incredible outpouring of love, concern and support they have provided has affected me so hugely. I never envisioned myself in a position to accept all of this. I am so very grateful.
10. EVOLUTION - This is the most positive effect and a culminant one. I am learning, growing, changing, evolving as a person. This is in direct relation to my diagnosis and treatment of hcv.
Sue
posted by Sue, Toronto at 7:46 AM
9 Comments:
Wow, what can I say? I`m speechless. You have grabbed hold of the combo by the throat and said, "I am going to get something out of you and it is going to be positive".
I feel privileged to read your discoveries and to continue to be a small part of your journey.
Paul.
Sue-Sue!
Well, you really do totally rock! Some of the most inspiring and amazing things do come in the strangest packages. I am awed by the outpouring of support that all of you share with each other. As Sue's sister, this gives me a greater perspective on Hep C, and I thank you all.
Tally Ho,
Nan in Montreal.
Thanks so much Paul! There are actually a lot of good things coming out of this process, once I'd stopped to consider them.
Your blog and the blogs of the others are of great importance to me. Reading what you are feeling and experiencing provides reference and perspective (and humour, very special!). This path would be much tougher to walk without you all out there!
Sue
Dear Nan,
You are amazing! Thank you so much for everything, for holding me up when I'm falling down. Love ya!
Sue
Nice one Sue, and a lot more eloquently put than my meagre efforts!
I will pass you one tip - take two Tylenol/paracetamol an hour after the injection and you will probably avoid the headache altogether.
Sue,
After several days of near-isolation, I came across your entry. I'm near tears: it is so much what I needed to read, and I have been hurting so much these last few days. Thank you. I hope I can borrow just a bit of your positive attitude to get me through the day.
Hi Martin,
Your positivity list is way fun reading! Also filled with a lot of good uplifting points. Interesting that so many of us are looking at the bright side right now.
Sue
(P.S. Am still trying to decide what I think about the water/hydration subject.... will get back)
Dear Peter,
I've posted a comment on your blog. You are welcome to all the positivity from me you want, have got tons!
Sue
what an amazing list.
you have such a positive attitude.
love you and miss you,
annikka
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