Saturday, July 02, 2005

July 2 - TWO

Injection #22 complete, two more to go. Count down is speeding up. Grande starbucks bold coffee and lemon raspberry scone. I have given much thought this week to blogging and bloggers, to how this process has been so helpful to me during treatment. With that in mind and so that I don't neglect to do so, with the upcoming end of treatment and busy summer schedule, I want to say thank you to the bloggers. This process has been about more than an articulation of my thoughts during treatment. It has been an online support group, populated with individuals possessing incredible strength and wisdom. I want to thank you all, collectively and individually and please forgive me if I leave anyone out, or say anything to which anyone might take offence. As usual, these are my subjective impressions - but as such, you all mean so much to me.

Although Miles Keaton Andrew doesn't regularly blog with this particular group, his was the first blog I found whilst searching online and Miles is something else! Having gone through multiple treatments multiple times, he's been there and done it. Irreverent, fun, more than slightly strange, Miles makes me laugh. And made me laugh back when I found all of this very unfunny. Thank you Miles.

Ron Metcalfe consistently brings forward honesty, calm and balance to sustain us all. Our own online therapist. Despite the difficulties of treatment, Ron molds the process into a positive force within his life, creating a discussion forum and acting as a spokesperson for those of us affected by hepC. Ron has encouraged me to take ownership of this disease and its treatment. Thank you Ron.

Paul wears the terror of treatment like an alien prosthesis that can't be unattached. It seems painful and inhuman, but he continues to explore it and, over time, it and he evolve together. Thank you Paul, for stating my fears and making me brave.

Young, bright, alive and with a biting sense of humour, Jonathan is a beautiful man with a beautiful soul. His daily journals are required reading. His exercise regime has consistently inspired me to keep up with my yoga and walking, even when I just wanted to let it all go to heck. Thank you Jonathan, for keeping me going.

Martin, the "hepC guru", has a wealth of experience and information that is more than impressive. When first corresponding with Martin, I was certain he worked in health care, so extensive was his knowledge about hepC and treatment. He does not, but has educated himself. I recommend everyone going through this to listen to Martin - the man knows what's going on - and to follow his example of self-education. Thank you Martin for teaching me so much.

Filosofette was a voice in the wilderness, way over on the other side of the world, as frightened as I was at diagnosis and onset of treatment. I am eternally grateful to Filosofette for letting me know that I am not alone.

Artistic and fiercely individual, Wendy has beauty and life force that is enviable. When all I've wanted is to just be like the rest of the world unaffected by hepC and treatment, Wendy reminds me that I am me, and that that is the most important thing. Thank you Wendy.

Peter is, to me, a man on a long, winding journey. Some of the roads he has to follow seem to be awfully tough going, but what beauty he has gained and how freely he shares it. I suspect that Peter's journey spans a lifetime. I feel privileged to interact for part of it. Thank you Peter, for sharing.

Strong, practical and wise, Jane bears burdens unimaginable. I have learned that high emotional situations exact huge cost during treatment. Jane has had no choice and keeps on ticking. Thank you Jane, your strength makes me strong.

Lu is kind, supportive, insightful, tolerant and, despite her own difficulties with treatment induced anemia and fatigue, is there to talk to any time. Lu recognizes the truly important things in life and this flows through her writing. Lu shares qualities of many of my long time friends, a friend who is there, a friend you can trust. Thank you Lu, for being my friend.

Ijaz directs himself towards positive pursuits to offset the trials of treatment. His recounting of family seaside trips has made me pine to someday in life get to a beach in England (not what I ever would have thought I'd be wanting to do!). Most importantly, his ability to smile at those who are unkind, to pray for those who are unfair, remind me of the importance of being decent, despite what I might like to be otherwise. Thank you Ijaz, for demonstrating the decent way to behave.

Nick is an educator, a media star, an author, an impressive individual who has the perhaps most impressive patience I've witnessed, given the incredible difficulty he has had getting treated for this disease. He remains calm and patient throughout. I thank Nick particularly for reminding me to be patient and keep at it, as it can be done.

Balom is eleven (very soon twelve!), infected with hepC, as is his mother. Mom's on treatment and Balom writes his blog. Not only does Balom's situation put mine into some perspective, but he connects me, in a way that I previously hadn't appreciated, to what it is like having a mom on treatment. With two children myself, albeit older, this is important information. Thank you Balom the Light Bringer, for helping me to appreciate what my children might experience during my treatment.

Jeremy is determined, positive and focussed on healing. These are qualities I try to cultivate within myself. Thank you Jeremy for being a role model, for inspiring me to be the best I can be.

Brilliant and poetic, reading the Kerry Grace blog is like reading a beautiful novel, which is unfortunately nonfiction. The caregiver who is, herself, bleeding from her partner's wounds. Thank you Kerry, for putting my trials in perspective, for making me see how fortunate I truly am, for allowing me the opportunity to empathize instead of self-pity. Thank you for showing me what "celebrate life" really means. Kerry and Mike are consistently in my hopes and prayers.

Some of the bloggers seem to have dropped off over time, but I still picture Tink in green gypsy garb floating about the Isle of Man, Steve working hard at two jobs now, Alan taking glorious photographs of Glasgow at night. I hope things are going well for them. There are also new, or recently discovered, bloggers whom I don't yet know well. I look forward to following their blogs: Miss Poppy, Elizabeth Anne, Jayne, Buzz, Debbiejo. I also want to say thank you to some people who regularly comment on this blog - Snowav (Jeff, you totally rock), Eddie in Germany, Javier in Barcelona - hearing from you is wonderful and exciting, underlining how global this all is. I also want to acknowledge Ron Metcalfe's Forum and the SlohepC message board in California, both great online forums for people affected by hepC.

The game plan is to keep blogging, however, post-treatment it will obviously be from a somewhat different angle. Don't know what the future holds, but remain "guardedly optimistic". Thank you all again so very, very much.

Sue

6 Comments:

Blogger carol said...

Hi Sue,

Thank you for saying such nice things about everyone, it made me cry, and I'm not on treatment! You are very near the end of the roller coaster ride, I wish you every hope for the future. Thank you also for the lovely warm feelings you have given me for the words you used when talking of Martin. I know how special he is, it's nice to know others appreciate him as well.

Carol Bolton

7:50 AM  
Blogger Kerry Grace said...

You are very kind. Kind people are jewels to find. I treasure reading your blog each week and the sweet and always thoughtful comments you leave. I am so happy that your treatment is ending, SUCCESSFULLY!, but I'm going to miss my vicarious Saturday coffee and muffin!

11:55 AM  
Blogger Jonathan Colam said...

Hi Sue,

I love the way your titles are all numbers now. It does feel like a major count down. Thanks for the kind comments on your blog.

Good luck
Jonathan

6:53 AM  
Blogger lu said...

Hi Sue

You consistently surpass yourself - ever thoughtful, kind and considerate. I too was very moved by your writing - your ability to see and appreciate the essence of people, your fine balance of self- awareness and generosity. Your positive, realistic, spiritual and inspiring attitude. And on treatment too, when things tend to become somewhat skewed! I've said it before, you are quite amazing.

I am so happy for you reaching this point. What a journey it has been. I really do hope you will continue to blog and let us know how things are going. And of course what the latest best cakey-thing is at Starbucks!

Lu

7:10 AM  
Blogger Punjtun said...

Hi Sue,

Thank you for your nice comment for me in your blog. i always enjoy your very intresting post every time.

all the best.

Ijaz

12:51 PM  
Blogger Sue, Toronto said...

Dear Jeff, Carol, Ron, Jeremy, Kerry, Jonathan, Lu and Ijaz,

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. It is a time of reorganization and looking forward. Also a time to appreciate what I've gained from this, which is much more than anticipated.

Working in health care, I've always approached patient care from the perspective that no matter how tired, or busy, or "whatever" I am, every patient needs to be given the attention and consideration I would want my child, or my father, or my sister, or me, to receive. I think the same applies to most circumstances in life - while I realize that there's some weird stuff out going on out there, I believe that treating each person seriously is important.

Countdown continues. I do want to try and keep up the blog in some manner afterwards... might have to retitle it "post-tx journal".

Best wishes to all, Sue

7:23 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home